Confidence and Vulnerability

I gave a word recently about how powerful it is to live a life of vulnerability. I kept alluding to this journal entry. I figured i shouldn't change it to make it all cool and bloggy, so i just copied and pasted. Here you go world. 

Confidence and Vulnerability.

I think these are the two most manly characteristics that any person can have. It’s scary for a man to pursue a woman. For real. On this earth, in order for him to truly pursue her as a man should and as a man can, He is called out of a place of safety and into a place of vulnerability. So many men are too afraid to pursue a girl like she deserves. They walk their hearts as high as they can, without letting them into the sunlight. Keeping them protected and low to the ground. When what is truly required of a manly pursuit is that He FLINGS his heart to her with reckless abandon. He has to throw his heart to her and hope that she will catch it. That is no small thing mind you. It is the hardest thing a man can face. Letting his heart into that place where it is vulnerable...

But that’s how Jesus loves. And so that is how we are to love. He doesn’t reward people with love as they prove their ability to catch his heart. He doesn’t wait for us to be worthy of it. He throws his heart. Full force. And he does it FIRST. What a man! What a man he is! He throws his heart into all of the mess. All of the hurt. But he does it. It may not be caught. It may not be returned. And yet still he sends it. Because he is C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-T.

 He is confident enough in his own strength to make himself fully vulnerable. If he weren’t confident, he would not allow this. If he were not vulnerable, it would only prove he wasn’t confident. Jesus was confident enough in His father’s power to come to the most vulnerable position (the most vulnerable position I can think of at any rate) a man. With just enough emotions to feel and be hurt, but with just enough potential for glory. Within the human race there is just enough potential for failure that there is the potential for glory. I think vulnerability and confidence are very linked. I think they need each other. And I think Jesus embodies them both.

In John 11 Jesus goes to a funeral. He wept there. How many other Pharisees and Sadducees do you think wept at funerals? They were the leaders! They were supposed to support those who were hurting, not BE hurting! They were supposed to be “strong” and Jesus more than most, you’d think. Jesus. Knowing ahead of time that this was going to happen. Having full confidence in the power of His Father to raise Lazarus from the dead, wept. Became vulnerable. He mourned him. He was fully confident, for he knew that he would rise again. He told Mary and Martha. But still he wept at the fact that he died in the first place.

And he did it in front of the Jews! Those who were watching his every move. The ones the rest of us would be trying to impress with all our miracles so that they would grow closer to God, but who really we are afraid to fail in front of because we think we can hinder Him. He wept in front of them. He was vulnerable in front of them. and they called him out on it too. They said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” (verse 37)

And that’s where the confidence of Jesus came in. He knew what He was doing. He knew what would happen. Their scorn and their judgment didn’t shake his confidence one bit because “Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. ‘Take away the stone.’ He said.” (verses 38-39).

And he raised Lazarus from the dead.

But what he needed. What he embodies. Are those two words: confidence and vulnerability. It takes both of those to pursue who we are. It takes both of those to dream our dreams and then live our dreams. The dreams the LORD has placed in us and desires that we live out. We have to be vulnerable to even think of those dreams in the first place. We have to let ourselves believe in faith that something THAT incredible could actually happen to us. And then we have to be confident in our pursuit of them. Despite every obstacle and every hindrance in the way (persistence). We have to let ourselves go there, and then actually go there. It’s terrifying to put all of yourself into something. What if it doesn’t work? But that’s how God is. That’s what Jesus DID. The cross is no joke.

He knew that he would win the ultimate battle against death. He knew that all of it was worth it because of the joy set before him. But he also knew that those whips were going to hurt. He also knew that the thorns would pierce his skull. He also knew that he would have to die. Jesus wasn’t immune to pain. He was a real person. But he had a confidence that confuses the world. Being silent in your rebuttal period is a bit odd to a pride-centered world. Especially when you are so clearly innocent.  He stood there completely pure, completely content, and allowed himself to be vulnerable before some government he knew would fade into nothingness in a few hundred years time because he was braver than all of us.

What about us? Can we love like that? Can we dream like that? Can we live like that? Can I? Can I throw my heart fully into something with the reasonable suspicion that it might not work? The world says no. The Lord says yes. And that is what separates us from the world. We love with a recklessness that can only come from the true confidence and purity of the Holy Spirit. People don’t understand it. Why do they always call the back seat? Why are they not afraid to die? Why are they not afraid to weep in front of me? Who are they? What kind of freedom is this? It’s the freedom that comes from confidence and vulnerability. It’s the freedom that comes from the Holy Spirit. It’s what separates us from the world and makes us like lamps in the darkness. It is our destiny to live as such. And what a beautiful, terrifying and fulfilling destiny it will be. I invite you to it. HE invites you to it. All we have to do is say yes to Him, and He will sweep you into something that no one can comprehend until they get there. Oh what joy to live in a mystery such as this. A mystery that my God promises is good. I will strive to be a man like that. A man of vulnerability and confidence and passion. Who isn’t afraid to lose everything but who is willing to be fully who he was called to be. You can’t get there without that risk. And that risk is what makes it worth it. Step into the dreams of God’s heart. Only there can we be full. Amen.


(Ohhh and one more thing!! Here is the woman who had that great Ted Talk on the same subject. I don't know if she knows the Lord or not, but He definitely knows her.)
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html