i feel that it is in the core of human nature to try to understand our surroundings. to attempt to make what little sense there is of our situations so that we can stay comfortable and in control of things. this isnt a bad thing. i've been doing some research on stress and how certain stressors can actually trigger calming sensations in your brain if those stressors have been previously dealt with and understood. when your brain registers that what is bounding up to you is your faithful dog, who has been waiting all day to pour his love on you, your brain can relax. you've seen this before. praise God, he does it every day. it is when the brain encounters unknown stressors (such as a growl in the dark) that it releases adrenaline and sends warnings of danger through the body as a means of protection. also good. humans are truly incredible creatures. how anyone could think that we were created so intricately by shear luck is completely beyond me.
we naturally (and even chemically) try to understand the things around us. it does the brain good to know that certain things are good and certain things are bad. but even though we can read all we want about the things of the world, we wont receive the imprint of any situation until we experience it for ourselves. i have had a fantasy my whole life of looking into the eyes of a wild lion. i've read about lions. even in fictional stories their eyes are majestic. but that isn't something you can truly understand until you do it. when i was in Africa for the first time in 2007 i got the chance, and i almost need to do it again because there was a depth that i only got a small glimpse at. i can't imagine that i know anything about the heart of a lion even now, much less having only read a book about them. i need to stare at him and be stared at. its the only way to know.
the same can be said for anything. you can know a lot about art, but if you never go see it and you never create it then you can't know it. you can read a lot of books about love and relationships, but you can't know what its like until you feel it. you can know a lot about the Lord, but that knowledge is useless until you experience him. the hebrews knew this, the greeks didn't. sadly, we get the majority of our american education from the greek philosophy that: reading about it is enough to understand it. but we all know you have to experience something in order to understand it fully.
I believe this is also true of the heart. we can know and read all about what our hearts are supposed to feel and how our hearts are supposed to look and behave, but i don't think we can truly understand them until we look them in the eyes. in the movie Good Will Hunting, there is a scene where Robin Williams' character and Matt Damon's character are sitting on a park bench. Robin Williams goes into depth about how you can't truly understand something until you experience it, and then makes the point that the same can be said for the heart of a man. you can't know your own heart and why it works the way it does until you search it. Will Hunting (Matt Damon) was afraid to search his heart. he was scared of what he might find in there. but in his fear and his walls he is keeping himself from truly knowing who he is. and from the strength of identity that lives there.
we are all searching for this. naturally. chemically. spiritually. there is a call inside of us to understand what is around us in the natural and a call to understand what is inside us in the spirit. we can't learn about lions if we are afraid of lions. and we can't learn about ourselves if we are afraid of revealing our hearts. our hearts were hand-crafted by the creator of beings and our identity rests inside of them. our confidence in who he made us and therefore our ability to walk in the fullness of that confidence lives inside them. we can't be afraid. we can't deny our desire to delve into the heart of God. and just because we think our hearts don't look like they are supposed to, we can't deny our desire to delve into our own hearts either. Because regardless of how much crap it's buried in, the identity that the Lord crafted inside of us lives in there. the only way to walk in it is to find it. and we can't be afraid to look.
Will Hunting was afraid to open himself because of what he might find. how many of us feel the same way? my hand's in the air, but its time to take a deep breath, face my heart, and look deep into its eyes. i may just find it looks very similar to that lion i was so excited about.
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